"I dreamed I had a gift for you, for holding up my sky."

I've been listening to the Laura Gibson album, Beasts of Seasons, and I have to say, it is stunning. She has a way with words that is both refreshing and honest. And this, slow, painful at times kind of mood to it. It has been a huge influence on me recently. For awhile now I have been tossing around this idea of potential. I think that we all have this intense, painful beauty inside of us. I don't think, I know. I can see it. When someone swallows, and accepts something so painful, but continues to care for others, even when you can see the pain so clearly in their eyes. I see it when people's dreams shatter, but continue to make due, picking up the pieces. They can put that broken dream on their mantle and be proud of it. At least they tried. They gave it their best shot and fell short. That, is my definition of potential.

The potential to be better human beings than we have to be, by either law, or societies' standards. The potential to be truly great, amidst mediocrity and self doubt. Why can't we all choose to live life in this manner? What about it is so hard that we fail to? I've been thinking about this for some time, and after having a good, long, honest talk with a friend, I think the answer is namely, sin.

I know that I don't like to talk to much about "Christian" themes, I like to speak to everyone. I'd have to say I still am. It would just depend on who is still listening. I'm starting to think that, outside of God's grace, we would all be at each others throats, or, even at our own. I feel terrible, but I think that I have to admit that Calvin was right. At least about his idea of total depravity of man. I fought long and hard here, at a reformed college, but the facts, remain the facts. We cannot achieve this beautiful potential, this beautiful thing that permeates from our eyes, from our soul, and let it out into the world. And not to just, meet some kind of end, except to glorify our creator.

"I dreamed I had a gift for you, for holding up my sky." Let us give all that we are, for the one holding up our sky. Let's be serious about our worship. And I don't mean arms folded, stoic faces, but I mean jubilation! Be joyful! I'm tired of half hearted praise. It's just not even worth it. I'm tired of it in myself. So, even though I can never give a gift of equal value to the gift I have been given, I can give You my life. That's all You asked for in the first place.
Amen.